My parents started attending the Glendora
Congregation in 1961. My mother had a strange feeling about the congregation.
There was something going on there that just didn’t feel right. There was a
huge exodus going on of people leaving this congregation’s Kingdom Hall too. So
my parents (probably mostly my mom) decided to go to the Azusa Kingdom Hall
instead. The funny thing is, we lived about a hundred yards from the Azusa congregation’s
territory line.
Mom requested her publisher record cards
to turn in to her new Kingdom Hall. In those days, you had to go to the Bible
Study overseer to get your record cards. These cards reported all your field
service active and any other information a new congregation might need to know
about you. They like to keep close tabs on everyone.
They don’t give these cards to the
publishers themselves any more. Now, they mail them to your new congregation.
The reasons is that people would get their cards and throw them away and stop
being Jehovah’s Witnesses. The Society wants to know if you quit nowadays. Why
is that? The only reason I can think of is so they can punish you. They want to
be able tell everyone that a certain brother or sister so is no longer a
Jehovah’s Witness. That way, they can make sure everyone knows when you leave. No
fading allowed. Let the shunning begin!
Something strange happened when Mom
requested the cards. Instead of Mom getting the cards, the Brothers in charge
said they wanted to meet with my parents. Back in the 1960s, there were three Brothers
in charge of the congregation: the overseer, the assistant overseer, and the theocratic
ministry overseer or the Bible study overseer.
At the meeting the three Brothers
requested my parents to stay and not leave the Glendora congregation. In
essence, they needed to stop the exodus out of the Glendora Kingdom Hall. Since
my family was well known in the hall, they chose us to make an example of. There
really was no rule about going to a congregation outside your territory, so my
parents held their ground.
My parents ended up writing a letter to
the Brooklyn Bethel, the headquarters of the organization, to complain about
these overseers. My parents didn’t know it at the time, but the letter that they
wrote was not confidential. The headquarters forwards all letters to your
overseers or Elders. So these overseers got really mad. There were more
meetings and more yelling. At one point, they called my father “a monkey on a
string.” I’m not sure what that means. Whatever it meant, my dad didn’t like it
and let them have it. I heard there was a lot of yelling and name calling that
went on in those meetings.
All my parents wanted to do was go to a
different Kingdom Hall. It ended up with my mother being “publicly reproved”
and my father was “dis-fellowshipped for slander and rebelliousness against the
organization.” They said they would have dis-fellowshipped my mother too but
she had a bad heart and the shock might kill her. They were right, it would
have killed her.
For many years when you got dis-fellowshipped
or publicly reproved , the presiding
overseer would announce your expulsion/reproof and they would announce the sin you
committed to justify this action to the whole congregation.
“Brother Jones has been dis-fellowshipped
for immorality!”
“Sister Smith has been publicly reproved
for gossiping and drunkenness.”
The Society stopped doing that years ago.
Why? Because they thought it was a cruel and unloving thing to do? No. That’s
not the case. I’m sure they would still love to do it that way. They stopped
announcing the nature of the sin because they were being sued for defamation of
character and losing these court cases.
I’m guessing my father could have done some activity that might have
deserved this kind of punishment. So maybe on some level he did get justice. On
the other hand, my mother was the perfect Jehovah’s Witnesses follower and what
they did to her stabbed her to the heart.
This treatment by the Witnesses totally
destroyed our family. My father blamed my mother and her religion for his
public humiliation. My mother was in total shock and disbelief that there could
be such an injustice in Jehovah’s loving organization.
My father ran a crew of about thirty men
on a construction site. One day he overheard one of his men tell another. “You
know Marty got kicked out of his church. What kind of terrible thing do you do
to get kicked out of a church? Have sex with farm animals?” My father had a lot
of pride, so this cut him to the core.
My father stop going to most of the
meetings. He didn’t need any more humiliation. My mother was a diehard. She was
never going to give up. She was more diligent than ever. Are whole family was
of course shunned. So we got the looks at the Kingdom Hall and the whispering behind
our backs. She never flinched.
We ended up going to the Azusa
congregation anyway. Why not? We had paid the price for wanting to go there
already. Six months of faithful meeting attendance in her new congregation and
her “public reproof” was lifted. My mother was “in good standing” again. True
she was forgiven, but do you really think people in a small congregation really
forget stuff like that?
My parents went to the circuit overseer to
straighten this problem out. He was on his
last trip through his circuit and
didn’t want to get involved. The next circuit overseer wasn’t much better.
Since these three “Brothers” were appointed by the Society and thus were
considered appointed God himself, they were untouchable.
Since my father was still dis-fellowshipped,
in 1964, my parents flew back New York City to the world headquarters of the
Jehovah’s Witnesses. My parents wanted to plead their case to the big boys. They talked to
Harley Miller in the service department. After hearing their story, he set up a
special committee to retry their case. Finally after four years, the matter was
reopened. My parents were not just reinstated they were exonerated. It didn’t
matter anymore for my father. He would never be an active Jehovah’s Witness again.
He would lead my mother on by going to the meetings now and then and of course
the Memorial/Passover every
year. He was done. He would never let them hurt him that way ever again. He
told me years later, “If that is what they call love, I’ll go somewhere else.”
I thought my father was stupid and foolish back then and I didn’t believe him. Later,
I saw at Bethel how right he was.
What happened to the three overseers who
did this to my parents? Nothing happened to them. Oh guess what? They all left
the religion years later also.
According to the Society, all Elders and
servants are appointed directly by God’s Holy Spirit. So I guess it was God who
made the real mistake here, not these guys. Of course, whenever things like
this happen in the organization, the Witnesses will be the first to tell you
“we are all imperfect.” Yet, why are you telling your people that God appoints
your leaders?
Just another catch 22 in action.
Bottom line: Even though our family did nothing
wrong, we were all still shunned by the Witnesses. So shunning is not just reserved
for wrongdoers. Anyone in good standing or not, can experience this unique Jehovah’s
Witnesses punishment.